PROMETHEUS: 5 FOR / 5 AGAINST

I saw Prometheus on Friday and have been trying to figure out what I saw so I could review it. I did enjoy it and highly recommend it - here goes - NO SPOILERS!


5 FOR

1. visually stunning
2. much more story focused than most action movies
3. Michael Fassbender
4. Charlize Theron
5. Keeps you thinking long after the movie
6. Bonue - lots of cute gay geeks in audience

5 AGAINST

1. more questions than answers
2. Michael Fassbender - doesn't even take his shirt off
3. Charlize Theron - under utilized 
4. several characters don't even get two lines
5. 3D - I hate 3D and the glasses hurt my eyes. I took them off afar about 15 minutes and never needed to put them back on. Very little was in 3D and then only the background was a little blurry unlike in Avatar where it was unwatchable without the glasses because of the distortion and color separation.

If you want a more thorough review, I recommend the following two reviews:

1. Brian of Caliban's Revenge
2. Alexander of Voenix Rising

Both guys have excellent blogs. Caliban's Revenge is mostly about movies, scifi, horror and other pop culture and Voenix Rising is mostly about pop culture and beefy, furry men not always SFW.

A CABIN IN THE WOODS: 5 FOR / 5 AGAINST RESURRECTED

I haven't done a review in my 5 FOR / 5 AGAINST style in a while but thought that The Cabin in the Woods was a good movie to resurrect the format.

I went into the movie really only knowing that it was greatly anticipated because of its director, Joss Whedon of Buffy, Angle, Serenity, Dollhouse and Dr. Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris), and because it had a very delayed release because its movie studio went bankrupt or something like that. Bankruptcy explains Australian hunk Chris Hemsworth's (Thor) not so built up build.

I think I would have enjoyed it more if I had known that it was more Scream or Zombieland like than Jason or Saw like. I hate to say it because I want Joss Whedon projects to do well so he'll get to do more, but I recommend waiting for the DVD. 

5 FOR

1. Not your typical horror movie - it is very funny once you're in on the joke. The yummy frat boys in shorts and tanks sitting in front of me laughed non stop.
2. Joss Whedon favorites: Fran Kranz and Amy Acker - Dollhouse and Angle, Bradley Whitford, Richard Jenkins AND Sigourney Weaver!
3. A much better second half than first.
4. Excellent special effects and very creepy monster/demons. Great blood bath!
5. The characters are slightly smarter than the typical horror movie characters.

5 AGAINST

1. It reached for the top and never made it over. There was a lot of room and material to really go extreme but it never did.
2. The plot was a clever idea but it was under developed and therefore also predictable.
3. The deaths should have been more inventive, gross and jump-out-of-your-seat scary.
4. If you're going to spoof horror movies and have an R rating, you should be showing some flesh - especially with Chris Hemsworth in the cast.
5. SPOILER!!!!! I think a better and spoofier ending would have been to have the virgin die only to find out that they were wrong about which victim was the real or more virginal virgin.

BITCH STOLE MY LOOK!

The second Woody Harrelson came onto the screen, as Haymitch, all I could think of was Kevin Bacon in Beauty Shop and that Joan Rivers will be all "BITCH STOLE MY LOOK!" You know that Woody's is a wig and Kevin's is probably extensions.

Woody in Hunger Games

Kevin in Beauty Shop

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THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIE REVIEW

It was good, NOT great, maybe a 2.75 out of 4. I only paid $6.00. The theater was about 30% full (nice!) and I did not see one cell phone light up!


When they make an unneeded minor but significant change from the book in the first 5 minutes you know the movie will be lacking. The change? The origin of the Mockingjay pin.

It didn't occur to me when reading the books but once the games began I thought, "The Running Man".

Josh Hutcherson nails Peeta. And it's okay to crush on him bc he's over 20! He can call me daddy anytime.


Their was one very emotional moment but there should have been more but the movie failed to achieve them.


For a 388 page book, they really stretched it out at 2 hrs and 22 mins while still managing to cut major subplots - mostly Cinna and his team and all their prepping and why.


Liam Hemsworth throws a few facial expressions. His character in not a major player until book 3.

Jennifer Lawrence does not convey the needed mix of charisma, angst, anger and isolation.

5 FOR 5 AGAINST: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL

I took my mom, dad and aunt  to the movies and our favorite diner. My Aunt is one of mom's sisters, she's just 58 and her son is a helicopter mechanic in Afghanistan. It was mom's choice to see Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol despite non of us having seen MI's 1-3. So we went.

Dinner was very good as usual ( had the best chocolate moose cake) but the movie was a really pleasant surprise. You didn't have to see the previous movies to enjoy it or to follow the plot which was pretty solid and tied up all the loose ends. Loose ends are a pet-pieve.

5 FOR

1. Jeremy Renner - "Next time I get to seduce the playboy millionaire."
2. Simon Peg - Shaun of the Dead, Scotty in Star Trek
3. Locations - real or CGI the cinematography was great. Definitely a big screen movie. 
4. Numerous bits of very good of comedy. The movie didn't take itself too seriously. 
5. Tom Cruise

5 AGAINST

1. Tom Cruise - hard to get past the crazy.
2. Tom's hair.
3. Old mad scientist able to beat-up Tom Cruise one of the best agents in the world? Twice?
4. Removing/breaking windows over 100 stories up is like opening a door on a plane. Right?
5. Obvious hint that there'll be an MI 5.

Honorable Mention

1. Automated parking garage.
2. Gagets - spy movies may have replaced scifi as predictors of future technology.
3. Shinny, tight fitting suits worn by Renner and Cruise - highlights very nice asses and crack sweat.

SHERFFIUS SUNDAY & FRIENDS

Perfection!

Notice a palate cleanser theme?

SCREAM 4: I DIDN'T

I didn't scream but I did enjoy it. The biggest problem with this movie is that it could have been the original. If this had been the first movie, it would have been great and this is probably one of the best fourth squeals but there were no real surprises.

There were lots of little jokes that made me chuckle and I'm sure I missed a few. It was interesting to see the chemistry between Dewey and Gail mimic David and Courtney.

Isn't it a bit ironic (is that its correct use Alanis?) that I was watching a movie called Scream on the National Day of Silence?

INSIDIOUS

First, let me apologize for my uninspired review of Source Code, I guess that says as much about my experience seeing the movie as anything I could write.

There is no lack of inspiration from Insidious! This was a great movie that made me jump in my seat 4 times and after the third time it took a full minute for me to catch my breath! How great is that?!

The movie is full of little details that reveal themselves later and aside from them not leaving the house that first night, no plot flaws. About a third of the way into the movie two things happen. First, it kicks it from 2nd gear straight into 5th and second, you realize this is really a remake (not officially any way)  of Poltergeist only not with poltergeists. A remake as good if not better than the original. Oh, it cost less than $1 million to make and it contained no blood and no swearing (except for bitch).

My biggest complaint is that Patrick Wilson should sleep in boxers only! However, he redeems himself when he applies eye cream before getting into bed! Love it!

There was also a preview for the Buffy The Vampire Slayer remake starring Brandon Routh as Dylan Dog: Dead of Night. If it's as good as Brandon is good looking, it'll be a very good movie.

See Insidious - you'll be glad you did except when you're in bed to scared to fall asleep.

SOURCE CODE

A good movie,  not great but worth seeing. It's one of those movies you need to discus with your friends to determine how you really felt about it.

Some parts are predictable but overall it's a fresh take on the "if I could turn back time" theory. I did find it satisfying that all my perceived 'plot flaws' were resolved.

Of course there's Jake and my second biggest complaint - no shirtless Jake. My biggest complaint is not Source Code but the preview for The Beaver - staring Jodi Foster and Mel Gibson as South Park's Mr. Garrison only with a beaver.

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES

We're doomed!

I knew all was lost (I'm talking about the movie not necessarily the ending) when after the title they spent the next 20 minutes doing character development. At first there were some intense moments but they quickly faded to just plain bad war movie cliches. 

Major issues:

• The world's reaction to a massive incoming meteor storm.
• Aliens are going to fight a land war?
• Aliens from another planet don't have air capabilities?
• Marines use paper maps and not GPS?
• A bus? Really?
• Don't they have sewers in Santa Monica?
• Is Santa Monica part of LA? I thought this was Battle of LA not Santa Monica.
• They didn't think the FOB's would be taken out?
• They thought the missiles were gonna make it?
• Why did they keep getting into helicopters?
• They shoot an alien like 200 times but don't kill it and then they dissect one and suddenly they're killing them with 2-3 shots?
• Alien drones with their weapons integrated into their bodies are pretty lousy shots.
• No one should have survived this movie, including the audience. 

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU

The Adjustment Bureau is a fast paced and engaging movie. Unlike Inception, you always know what is happening, you just don't know exactly how it's getting there. I recommend it.

• The opening credits are really fun because of all the real life politicians, celebrities and NY news people making cameos. 
• Matt Damon gets more handsome every year.
• I think Matt's character is ultimately evil. You'll debate this with your friends.
• John Slattery - enough said.
• I liked Emily Blunt in the first half of the movie but they didn't really develop her character and I didn't like her in the second half.
• The AB seemed to be taken from several Twilight Zone episodes.

BLACK SWAN

I don't think it's really possible to review this movie and not spoil it so this review may seem vague.

I consistently read two things about Black Swan - Natalie Portman is a lock for the Oscar and it's a horror movie. I think that Natalie was outstanding and is a lock for at least a nomination but I don't this is a horror movie, I think it's a psychological thriller falling somewhere in between The 6th Sense and Inception.

The movie kept me guessing right up to the end and I'm still not sure about some of it. The first 2/3's I did not find enjoyable. I was put off by the Swan Queen's (Natalie) meekness and just couldn't believe she could be or anyone would make her a prima ballerina. Also, I found the sexual scenes very uncomfortable and had me looking away - they were intense but not in a romantic way.

The movie blasts off like a rocket around the 2/3's mark and only picks up steam until the credits roll. It is so satisfying to see movie that actually gets better and has an ending that takes your breathe away. Save dinner and drinks for after the movie so you and your date/friends can discuss it.

The cinematography is exceptional and it needs to be because it tells the story as there is very little dialog. The dancing of course was brilliant but the finer details - reflections in windows, closeups and lighting were almost as important.

As outstanding as Natalie was, she had lots of support. Winona Ryder (The Dying Swan) stole all of her 4-5 minutes - absolutely brilliant! I loved Mila Kunis (the Black Swan) and wouldn't be surprised if she received a Supporting Oscar nod. Barbara Hershey (The Queen - The Swan Queen's mother)  was creepy and made my stomach turn.

BURLESQUE

I think both movie makers and movie goers have forgotten that movies should be entertaining and that every movie doesn't have to be a huge event. That is not the case with Burlesque, it is an entertaining, fun movie that left me smiling. Just what I needed.

Parts of the movie are bad - the dialog and Christina's acting. Parts of the movie are great - Cher's number, Cher showing Christina how to put on makeup, Cher arguing with Parker Possey, almost every one of Christina's numbers and Cam Gigandet shirtless and sans towel. I did find it surreal that they played Madonna's Ray of Light after a big Cher/Christina scene.

I think people seeing this movie will have the experience they expect to have. I love Cher but am not a fan nor hater of Christina. I have never seen all of Showgirls (I know, bad gay), not a fan of Chicago and Dream Girls doesn't compare. I think the best comparison is Hair Spray. I thought it was okay at first but the more I see it the more I enjoy it. I still think there's too much bad acting and dialog but I love most of the numbers more and more each time I see it. I think it'll be the same with Burlesque.

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS 1

Very well done. A return to form after the crap that was Half Blood Prince. My only complaint is that it even at 2.5 hours for half the book, it still seems like a cliff notes version - especially the ending.

Do we really have to wait until July?