the nights are getting noisier
gone are the blissful distractions of the day
blogs have been read
work has been done
dogs walked played with and loved
at night the mind gets weak
defenses are down
too tired for distractions
not tired enough for sleep
pain breaks through
distorts lies deceives wounds
death my friend not foe
sings to me
an end to loneliness
to suffering
to hopelessness
to pretending
death so close yet so far
once
twice
three times I'm still here
why
waiting for what
purpose
meaning
because god says so
because parents are supposed to go first
so many fight
struggle
burn with desire
sparkle in their eyes
fire in their heart
why don't I
I envy them
one day
one night
there will be peace
no pain
only joy
happiness at last
one way or the other
my time will come
the nights are getting noisier
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